What Have I Done?

What's typical of me is that I get into a band heavily, almost out of the blue - something usually clicks, an album, a song - and then that's all, or mostly all, that I'll listen to for two weeks, a month. And I can't stop with one album: I immediately need it all. The entire discography. I just need to have it, want to have it.

The latest craze: The Clash. Ohhh baby. I'd say it falls below my Junior year spring semester Elvis Costello mania or my second of three Dylan crazes, the one during my sophomore year, but above my recent Neil Young and Harry Nilsson infatuations.

Yeah, so lately it's been about The Clash. I truly believe they are one of the best bands of all-time. They are a Zeppelin. A Rolling Stones. Beatles or Blink 182? Maybe not quite there - but that's just from someone who is very much a big fan of those two acts. I mean, The Clash, I believe, can make claim to being the best band of all-time. There's nothing too crazy about it if you know all their work, the context and times, who they were and what they stood for. Those guys were very very diesel.

And they still are. For a while I'd wanted to get into The Clash but it didn't click. I think it may have had something to do with "London Calling," the song. I'd heard it too many times and I think Joe Strummer's voice got on my nerves. I got turned around after listening to a Sound Opinions podcast where Greg Kot and Jim Derigotis dissected the album. It was enough to get me to finally listen to London Calling properly, after having it lie around for a while.

Long story short, I got totally into it. From London Calling I moved on to Give 'Em Enough Rope, The Clash (US and UK), Sandinista!, and Combat Rock. I still have to get to a whole bunch of singles and B-sides, but I've done a lot of listening.

I could go on forever about The Clash, but the purpose of this post was to talk about one song, "Police On My Back".



Written by Eddy Grant, this version is mind blowing. The song sounds amazing - madman guitars; an almost Spector-ish production going on within a simple rock setting; a Mick Jones lead vocal with a subtle, driving Joe Strummer vocal beneath it.

But I love this song because it's about a guy who has committed a crime. He has fucked up. He's screwed, and he has to keep on moving constantly, every day of the week, or else the fuzz'll get 'im.

This song is about making a mistake and saying to yourself "What have I done?" That's why I relate. I've made so many bad decisions during my life and I have felt the police on my back - not literally, but something has been on my back. Drinking, girls, relationships, friends, money, jobs, school, injuries, all that shit. I remember those times and pray that the time between the next incident is far, far away. Because it's such a bad feeling. That mistake dictating how you live, constantly moving, thinking.

And then, listening to this song, it's exhilarating too. Not knowing what's going to happen. But it's really not that pleasant however much it gets the blood pumping. I mean, that guitar in this song is a siren. It's hearing that siren fucking blasting wherever you go. There are dial tones in the middle of the song, friends who won't pick up the phone for you. And when Mick Jones screams "What have I done?" you know he's not talking to the cops, he's talking to himself. He wishes he hadn't a done what he done; he's not saying, "What, I haven't done a bloody thing!" to the coppers. He wants to take this back. But he can't. So he runs.

There you go. What more can I say? We all fuck up. "Police On My Back" is about trying to run from that mistake. Sometimes, you best better run. Other times, Fuck it. I'm talking about the little things, the things you do and it wasn't the best decision. Nobody's dead, nothing is FUBAR, you just wish you had had some restraint; you wish you hadn't a done it.

I always try my best not to worry about those little things that really have no real effect on anything in the long run. But sometimes you just can't, man. Sometimes you got the police on your back and you're runnin Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday screaming, What have I done?

Everyone listen to The Clash!