ART IS

Art is the product of what you hate to love. Or, what you love but don't or can't have. Or the love you've given up or lost - missed opportunities. These and slight variations are what makes me produce what I have made. There is creation strictly for love's sake, but the shit's usually a little weak because if you unconditionally love something you're better off just loving it, dammit, don't waste time creating art about it! Love it, her, him, don't fucking waste time putting pen to paper, lens to life, music to air. Remember, there's no pain, no gain. End of story.

Part 1: King of the Castle

A few days ago I gave a little back story as to the foundation of what makes up my musical DNA, that is, I told you how The Beatles always seemed to be around, playing (not live), when I was growing up. All music is compared to the Beatles in some way, specifically: Does it make me as happy as their music does? I don't literally say this, but if there is an ultimate watershed, this is is.

In two posts I'm going to talk about two bands: Dave Matthews Band and blink 182, both of which had a profound effect on the young me -- and one of these two still really, really does!

I remember driving home from Sagamore Hill - you know, the famed Long Island home of Teddy Roosevelt? - with my mom and my sister, when I was about thirteen years old, and "Crash" by DMB came on the radio. Now, at this point most in my life my music listening habits were regulated to, A) whatever my parents listened to, and B) Weird Al Yankovic. I love Weird Al - in so many ways he's a genius - but I wouldn't quite consider him part of my musical journey. Sure, I love comedy nowadays, but that's more of what Weird Al is to me, comedy, humor. It just happens he choose music to get laughs.

OK, so we were driving along, the sun was shining, and on came "Crash Into Me" and, right away, the tune really thrilled me. Even now I remember the day, listening to it in the car, going to Mario's Pizzeria thinking about the song, humming the "I'm the king of the castle" part Dave does at the end. I knew I had to have it, my parents knew I had to have it, so I used their credit card to buy it dirt cheap on Half.com.

The next few days sucked. Waiting for that package. It was almost as bad as waiting for Pokemon Blue to come in the mail. By Saturday morning the disc still hadn't arrived, and as I got myself ready to go to a Bat Mitzvah - I think I had a little bit of a crush on the bat mitzvahee - I was pissed the fucking thing was still in transit.

So I danced, acted like a jackass thirteen year old all day, was pretty tired at 7 PM when someone's mom picked me up -- BUT WHEN I GOT HOME "CRASH," DAVE MATTHEW'S SECOND LP, WAS WAITING FOR ME. Didn't even change out of my nice clothes. I put that thing on my discman and listened to the entire record, pining for my young Jew crush as I followed along with each and every lyric printed in the CD booklet, straight to the end of "Proudest Monkey."

DMB was the first band I got hooked on, ON MY OWN. No one else played it for me. My mom or my dad weren't into it. I was going to have to turn THEM on to it (Mom/Dad: "The music is nice but I don't like his voice/lyrics."). This was my band, I discovered them, I bought all of their records and inhaled them, they were mine. DMB is significant because of the independence I discovered, the thrill of choosing what music to listen to. And also the feeling it invoked in me. I remember being really emotionally involved in "Crash," feeling like it was totally how I felt about that girl.

Part of enjoying music is about that search for something new, and when it's good - when it's emotionally resonant - the discovery is almost spiritual, and thrilling to boot. I don't listen to DMB on a daily basis anymore, but I don't need to. I listen to the occasional song every once and a while, though no new stuff for me. I can't abide people who are constantly thrilled with this guy, even though I realize the power and allure of his songs because I was there, but I was a thirteen year old, not a 25 year old U of F grad who still swoons when they hear that Dave is king of the castle. It was a jumping off point. The beginning. You gotta start somewhere and I'm totally happy Dave got me to where I am today.

"The Forever War" by Dexter Filkins

The book is a love song about Iraq. I quote the "Acknowledgments" section of "The Forever War," last paragraph:

"I fared better than many of the people I wrote about in this book; yet even so, over the course of the events depicted here, I lost the person I cared for most. The war didn't get her; it got me."

Love is a forever war. That's what it means to be in Iraq and Afghanistan for seven years. I know the feeling. This is a love story, and it's hard, you hate missin' it, but what a story it is.

PROLOGUE: Happinness Is A Warm Beatle

Guinness anyone?

Music and me. My history, as seen (heard?) through the music I've loved throughout the years. This is the beginning.

I said I was going to start with my formative years, 13 years old or so, but I think we just need a bit of prologue first, to understand everything that follows:

I grew up in household where the Beatles seemed to be in everything. The air, the water, the food I ate. You name it, the Beatles were in it.

To say my parents love the Bealtes is true. They love the Beatles. But they're not obsessed or anything. They're not idiots. They don't have all the collectibles, just the music. Sure, we have the occasional Beatles coaster or magnet, and yes, we have pretty much all the DVDs and CDs (remastered mono box set status: still waiting), and I'm sure my mom can be moved to tears by them at certain moments, but that's as it should be. They love the music and definitely enjoy the history of the band; seeing the band play, talk, laugh, interact with each other; the trivia...Basically if a Beatle is involved, they're interested. Not blindly, not like a dumbassess. They just love the band because they make them happy. It's their favorite band, man, since the Beatles were around, since probably, I'd assume, the first time they heard their music.

So Beatles' music was always playing. There's a great video of me as a one year old just chillin' by a speaker with "Helter Skelter" blasting at full volume, my mom taping away as her son experiences hearing loss and, possibly, brain damage. It's fucking awesome. Best thing my mom ever did, but she was/is always doing things like that.

The Beatles are the touchstone. Any music I listen to and talk about is measured...not necessarily against them, but with them in mind as perfection. As what music should be. As what makes me happiest, just like my folks, becauase I am a second generation Beatle fan, born and bred with the Beatles since before I can remember.

Hello,

Mr. Lighter than air.

2000s: Music & Me

2000s: Music and Me
(what a fucking picture...taken December 2004 - 18 years old, so impressionable)

Music. It's been pretty good for the last ten years, during the 2000s, or the Naughties, and it was during this time that I really started to become interested in music. Finding it, listening to it, buying it, stealing it, paying for three songs on iTunes...My musical tastes were shaped during these years. I went from Dave Matthews Band all the way to Joanna Newsom (and sometimes back again!) during this time, and boy, what a ride!

There's a period in a life where music has the greatest effect on you. Those impressionable ages - I'd say 13 (Mazel tov!) to, oh, I don't know, 20, 21...basically until the end of college - when music really seeps inside of you, into your soul. It happened to my parents - and god knows how many other Baby Boomer types - with the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, etc. I know my parent's interest, or should I say passion, for music is centered on these few years. They listen to a lot of stuff, but mostly they like what they liked when they were these ages. It's what they always return to, for enjoyment and comfort.

I know I'm just out of this age range, but I do feel out of it. For better or worse (better), my tastes and preferences for music were shaped during this past decade, 13-21 years old. But it wasn't really shaped by the music from the 2000s, though there are certainly albums and songs that have. I was toying around with the idea of doing the twenty best albums of the past ten years and it just wasn't fulfilling enough (hey, if pitchfork.com is doing something like this, I gotta do it!). I'll prob compile a top 20 just for the hell of it mad soon, but I kind of wanna spend a few posts talking about key musical moments for me that occurred during the 2000s, more or less that period of time I was talking about just before. It could be an album or song from any time period, as long as I discovered it or it affected me greatly in the 00s. I'll include other musical moments, too, such as concerts, jam sessions, a song that was playing at a party one night, a conversation with somebody, a mix...

So I'll talk about the music and what was going on in my life, how the music shaped certain times, all that kind of stuff. I may go chronologically, I may not (I think I may).

OK, I'll start shooting some stuff out, maybe later today, maybe tomorrow, who knows? Just hopefully not in the 2010s!

the fuhyive

uh, so, uh, here are some things that i've been, like, digging, uh...

1) The Forever War by Dexter Filkins - almost done with this incredibly gripping read about the Iraq war. This man is pretty brave. He's been in a lot of places that only soldiers and dead people have been. His writing is immediate and real, that is, it doesn't seem contrived or altered - the man writes about what happened, no changes made to make it more dramatic. This man has some great stories - and insights - about quite a war. I hope it does last forever - so he can write another book! (Just kidding, war is bad.)

2) Gmail. It's pretty good. Convenient. It gets me my mail. Very happy with this thing. Has everyone heard of it?

3) "Horrible People" and "Back On Topps" - two web series(es?). "HP" is a pardoy of a soap opera and it's fucking funny. My favorite kind of humor: so serious it's ridiculous. And it's also just plain ridiculous. A dude fills up a turkey baster with his own semen - what more need I say? And "BOT" is a surpisingly hilarious show starring the Sklar Brothers, you know those guys, you recognize them. They love sports, they were on Entourage, one wears glasses the other doesn't...Both great damned shows. I'd reccommend checking out the two links I've posted and watching these two first episodes and see how you feel.

4) Joe Lo Truglio - cousin to the BLT, the JLT has been on my mind since "Superbad". He's so damned funny in that movie that he doesn't need to be in anything else: "Hey - I'm a nice guy" "Welcome to the thunderdome! We're gonna rock out with our cocks out. No, just kidding. But we are gonna rock out." "Sounds like she fully wants it. And who's gonna give it to her, my man? You, that's who." "So you guys on MySpace or..." I could quote his lines near-perfectly all day and night and smile. But the reason he's on my mind right now is that he is awesome in "Horrible People". Classic JLT - with a beard. He's always been funny in the past, he will be in the future, but, if he never worked again, was never even in a fucking Extenz commercial (call him up, extenz!) for the rest of his life, I would be happy just thinking about him in Superbad. God bless, JLT.

5) The Americano - I had this cocktail recently and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I'd had Campari before - tasted Campari before - and it was pretty damned bitter, though that's what Campari is, it's a bitter, so what was I expecting? Just that, and I wasn't crazy about it. But after watching Bill Murray ask an intern to get him a Campari on the rocks in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou [Ed. Note. This movie would represent the 6 if this was called "the six"] I knew that it would hit the spot sometime in the very near future. However, Campari on the rocks itself wasn't cutting it, so I did some research and found that the Americano is more or less the standard Campari cocktail: Half Campari and half sweet vermouth, served on the rocks in Collins glass with a splash of club soda and an orange slice. It's a refreshing drink, different than other cocktails that have more hard A in it. And it's also not going to be everyone's cup of tea - it's a little funky, which is fine for me. I mean, recently I made a martini with pickle brine in it (so-so: I need better brine!). For me, though, the beauty of the Americano is the mix of bitter tastes (the Campari) and sweet tastes (the vermouth), with that splash of club really adding that extra crispness you so desire in a well-made cocktail. Personally I think that going half and half with the Campari and vermouth is a guideline - I think it tastes better when it skews slightly towards the bitter side. Then again, you may like it sweeter. Regardless, I think this is a pretty classy drink and, though it's getting colder and the Americano strikes me as a summer drink, I encourage you to try one, if you have the opportunity. I you come over my house, I can surely make you one!

THE BEST SONG EVER

"Second Hand News," Fleetwood Mac. The Best Ever. This is the song that makes me tick. This song makes me want to live another day. All it takes is the scratched electric guitar in the intro. All it takes is Lindsey Buckingham singing, "I know there's nothing to say/Someone has taken my place," and I melt into place, waiting for the rest my life. It's perfect - it's who I am.

"When times go bad/When times go rough/Won't you lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff?" That's a fucking question, and what a question it is. Oh my, what else can you ask? Why breathe if you can't ask this? Where else would you lay me? WHERE ARE YOU GONNA LAY ME? I've been in hard places, places where I am by myself, where there's nothing but love and the cool side of a pillow to answer your stupid questions, so here, here I am, the song that is me, Danny Grgas.

I've felt a lot of songs - "Happiness is a Warm Gun," "Summer Babe," "Oh! Sweet Nuthin" - and this song is it, it makes me wanna live another day. It radiates within me. It is everything I've ever felt. I love, and this song is love to me. I can be because of "Second Hand News".

Thank you, Lindsey Buckingham. Thank you for Rumours. Thank you - thank you - for Tusk. Thank you for creating the greatest songs - "Second Hand News," "Not That Funny," "Ledge"- songs of hope and despair; songs of love and madness; songs of blind insanity, and the manic insecurity that comes when all of your screws fall out of your head. You are my friend and hero, because your songs are me.

Thank you, I'm just second hand news,

-Danny Grgas

Heroes, Part One: Heart and Craft

These are some of my heroes. I love and hate them for being better than me. They have shown me what to do, what not to do, and I think that everyone can learn something from them! Not necessarily from their work but how they went about doing it.

This is heart and craft. Between these people you see the full range, as well as the synthesis.

1) Jackson Pollock - there's something I love about self-destructive alcoholic geniuses. The man's also one of the two greatest abstract expressionists of all-time, along with another hero of mine...

2) Willem DeKooning, whose story isn't as dramatic as Pollock but DeKooning was the true master of the two, whereas Pollock was more of the tortured soul, his artwork bubbling up from the infinite mass of his emotions. DeKooning is more like...

3) Paul McCartney, a craftsman, very, very skilled, able to produce a lot of quality material that is respected for its style and craft, but criticized, sometimes, for lack of heart, but not that often, really, from people who understand what the modus operandi is. And Pollock is more like...

4) John Lennon, extremely personal. A life of pain. Substance abuse to alter their feelings so they didn't have to feel this pain. Too bad he wasn't a true worker like my current main man,

5) Nick Cave, who goes to an office every day to write songs, books, and screenplays like a 9 to 5 job, because that's the way he works, that's the way he is able to be so prolific. And the product is fucking amazing, always quality cuz he knows what's what, what is good.

I'll call this part one of the series, because there are more heroes to talk about and more connections to be made between important people that have shaped my life and others.

I Wish I Had This Album

Headless Heroes of the Apocalypse by Eugene McDaniels. It's supposed to be a crazy, funky album, man. Really groovy with some sexy lyrics is what they say. It's been sampled over and over on rap records. ?uestlove talks about this album in this video. I'm pretty sure it's not available on CD, at least not new and not imported. One day...

Then Again

The Bends is one of the greatest albums ever.

PHOENIX

Dweebs. Epic fucking dweebs. Who cares what these guys do? Frenchmen? Keith Richards said something like, Paris would be fine except for all the Parisians. Bloody Likely! "Lisztomania"? More like "Shitzomania"! C'mon, dweebs! Why don't you call yourselves Versailles? Phoenix? Who are you? Do you guys remember WWII? Of course not.

Do Americans a favor, Phoenix. You may be a bird, you may have eternal life, you may be named Fawkes and listen to Gryffindors, but you suck. Change the name so I don't have to listen to your soft pop semi electric 80s played with real instruments bullshit.

Music. That's not what you are. You have ONE melody. Everybody get a grip with this band and stop buying magazines with their name printed on the front.

Jackie Brown & Inglourious Basterds

I watched Jackie Brown for the first time, the third film by Quentin Tarantino, and I was blown away. I had always put off watching it cuz, you know, it wasn't Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction - and it came out before I was able to watch and appreciate those other two gems, so I wasn't running out to see it like I was when the Kill Bill movies came out, but those two are less movies than exercises, Quentin popping a boner on set with Uma Thurman while people get buried alive, decapitated, whatever. They were good, not classics, as Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction were.

But Jackie Brown. Man oh man, that Jackie Brown. It may be his best movie. It gets the least buzz, the least attention. Why? This damned movie is a real damned movie. No tricks. Just good direction, real dialogue (not self indulgent!), and a cast of characters so well conceived and so well executed by the group of actors assembled that it really blew my mind.

The plot is straightforward (enough: it unfolds in real time!) though there are twists and turns and slights of hand. But the plot is not where it's at. The characters. The world that Tarantino creates is his own and it's a real one, too. It's not the world we live in, maybe, but it is definitely a world we could live in, or, more accurately, this is definitely the world where these people live and it's a better world than the ones usually depicted in other movies, especially other crime films.

I could go on and on - so I will! No, I won't. Just go and see what is probably, shot by shot, line by line, Quentin Tarantino's best film. It's not as important or uniquely enjoyable as Pulp Fiction is (still gotta be my fav) but between QT's script and direction, and Sam Jackson's villain, Robert Fortser's miraculous performance as a somewhat unlikely hero, Bob DeNiro's stoner criminal, Chris Tucker's dumb arms dealer, and, of course, Pam Grier as Jackie Brown herself, this movie is fucking ridiculous. I'm leaving things out! All you need to know is that a conversation about the Delfonics broke my heart. If that happens, you know you're watching a great movie.

QUICK WORD: thought Inglourious Basterds was kick ass. Not what I was expecting, which was real nice. Unique, wonderful little two hour and 45 minute film. Great soundtrack, dialogue, and the performance from Christopher Waltz is fucking mind blowing. Definitely worthy of Tarantino, better than Kill Bills, not the others though.

RADIOHEAD IS OLD

Here it is, proof.

OK, they're old, but they're still OK. Radiohead has always been OK. If you're a big Radiohead fan then, OK, you're a big Radiohead fan. I mean, Radiohead are like The Beatles who felt uncomfortable with their sound. Radiohead is great, but The Beatles rule. No arguement. If I spoke to any member of Radiohead I bet they'd agree and say, "Yes, gladly, I'd let a Beatle suck my cock." I've heard Thom say that exact same thing.

Radiohead is a great band. Are they listenable? I guess they are - cuz they are - though there is something about them that makes them a real, real, real moody band - for me at least. Who listens to their music all the time? When you are depressed, yeah. But when you feel like enjoying things, will you ever listen to Radiohead? Possibly...

They make perfect music. But they make perfect music without true listenablitly. The Beatles made perfect music with true listenability. Both great bands, but Radiohead kinda sucks in a lot of ways. No?

They're the ultimate OK band that's great once and a while.